Service Dog Support Team Makes a Difference
By Luke Schmaltz, VOICES Newsletter Editor
“You know, a dog can snap you out of any kind of bad mood that you’re in faster than you can think of.” – Jill Abramson
The year 2016 was tragic and bittersweet for Judi Earnest. Her mother passed away in February while on a family cruise and three months later, her brother died of a fentanyl overdose. The silver lining arrived later that year, when her partner in peer grief support was born – a dog named Gilbert.
Earnest explains how her inspiration to work with a trained service dog was sparked at a peer support event. “About 10 years ago,” she begins, “I had the pleasure of going to a conference and meeting a dog named Gwenna, [her] handler was Lori. It was amazing to learn how this courthouse facility dog could help people of all ages throughout the criminal justice system.”
A Novel Idea
“At the time,” Earnest continues, “I was working at the Wayside Rape Crisis Center in Trauma Intervention Services. I thought a service dog was a great idea because we worked a lot in court advocacy and with victims of crime. I also worked with bereaved families [after a homicide] and victims of domestic violence. My thought was, ‘It would be brilliant to bring a dog in.’ It took me many years to convince Wayside to try this,” she says.
When her plan to apply for a courthouse facility dog was finally approved, Earnest reached out to NEADS World Class Service Dogs in Princeton. “It took some time and was a process, but in 2018 I was paired with Gilbert, and we’ve been working together ever since. He was the first courthouse facility dog to be trained at NEADS of Massachusetts, and I brought Gilbert into every aspect of the things I was doing,” she explains. “He and I are a certified service dog team.”
Making Friends
One of Judi’s and Gilbert’s first events together was when they were invited to facilitate Supper with Siblings at Gilley’s House, a 21-bed residential recovery facility in Wrentham. There, she was able to see Gilbert at work in a large group setting. “He has an amazing skill of making sure he says hello to everybody, and if he identifies someone who needs him, he will stay awhile,” she explains. “After a couple years of that, David Swindell (a peer grief group facilitator) asked if I would be interested in setting up another group for siblings in Milford. So then, we began Siblings Supporting Siblings,” she says.
Swindell, a bereaved father, offers a bit of insight into working with Gilbert. “When I think of Gilbert,” he begins, “I think of a big ball of soft gentle trust, understanding and security. Gilbert puts me at ease and brings out a bit of playfulness often hidden by the stresses of life. He is living comfort,” Swindell says.
Swindell’s daughter, Jenn Johnson, lost her brother Chris to substance use and met Gilbert at a Gilley’s House event. “My favorite encounter with Gilbert (and Judi) was actually my first meeting at Gilly's House a few weeks after my younger brother passed,” she says. “I could barely get out a few words without stopping to cry and Gilbert just walked over and laid over my feet. I didn't have to call him or signal to him that I needed comfort, he just knew. The weight and warmth of his body was enough to help settle the tears. He's the best listener; the type of listener that lends open ears, open heart and just responds with comfort instead of words as oftentimes there aren't any words that make you feel as good as a comforting hug can.”
Meanwhile, as a bereaved sibling, Earnest grapples with her own grief from time to time and has to be mindful to take time for herself. “As a therapist, we preach it, but we don’t always follow it. I turn to my kids a lot, [they] are my backbone. They help keep the smile on my face,” she says.
A Winning Team
Gilbert has made quite an impact on the sibling support groups he attends with Judi. Her husband, Tom Earnest, offers a bit more insight into the duo’s working style. “As a team, Judi and Gilbert work great together,” he begins. “When we are in our peer-led support group, Gilbert is a great resource for getting people to open up and start talking about why they are there. While Gilbert will nudge, rub his face on a person or just lay at their feet, Judi expresses her shared experience with the group to let them know that she is there as a peer, and [she] facilitates the meetings with care and empathy to allow the group to open up and share.”
Another peer support facilitator, Linda Cook, explains how Gilbert has been helpful in getting her as well as her clients to open up. “My favorite story about Gilbert is when I first started working with him and Judi. I was afraid of dogs,” she says. “He would sit by me and slowly allow me to get to know him better. He became a safe dog for me to interact with. Later, I ended up becoming a dog owner. I have had several clients that were unable to focus [during] therapy and couldn't really talk about their trauma. He would lay his head on their lap or otherwise interact with them and they just opened up! Several times, Gilbert was the key to getting my client comfortable enough for them to share what was going on for them,” she says.
Earnest explains how acknowledging her loss and grief at the onset of a sibling support meeting helps set the tone for those in attendance – especially the newly bereaved. “I always start by introducing myself as a bereaved sibling so that whomever I am talking to knows they are with someone who gets it. It’s putting it all out on the table first and then explaining to them that a peer support group is tears. It’s those moments when we are able to say, ‘me too’ and to let them know they are not alone and that we get it,” she explains.