Recovery Coach Rejoins Society, Motivates Others
Part One
By Luke Schmaltz, VOICES Newsletter Editor
Motivated by Mathematics is a recovery coach at Bedrock Recovery Center, a spiritual advisor, a poetry-inspired rapper, a public speaker, and a social leader. His world is beset with substance-use-related issues. Yet, he navigates with vision and wit – adhering to a no-nonsense code of maxims, mottos, and mandates.
Mathematics speaks about the role of peer support for those in recovery and how to cope with grief while sustaining recovery.
In his recovery journey, Mathematics had 131 separate attempts at recovery in 25 different facilities. “I had eight hold-ins where you wait to get into a program, and I lived in four halfway houses. Before that, I did 15 years in state prison," he explains.
Widespread Support
“There are a lot of support groups for people suffering from the loss of a loved one,” Mathematics says. “What we have learned is that if you work a recovery program, no matter what happens you can still get to the other side sober. I just watched my sponsor bury his wife of 28 years – the mother of his children – and he is still making it to the other side.”
“If you are abstinent, but you are not working a program, and you don't have a support system, a home group, a recovery coach, a therapist, a sponsor, or a spiritual advisor like myself, a loss can be very hard to navigate.”
Mathematics offers insight into his daily role as a spiritual advisor. “Every day, I start my morning off with service,” he says. “I send out spiritual and motivational text messages about routine, ritual, and basic accountability to about 194 people. I call these the “Jewel of the Day.”
Breaking it Down
“Grief is love that has no place to go. When you lose a loved one, you only lose them in the physical realm. They still exist within you in the emotional, spiritual, and mental realms. There are four letters in love but there are also four levels; mental, emotional, spiritual, and the one of least importance is of the physical plane.”
“I have known people who have lost family members, and they start a podcast so they can educate addicts, so they don’t break their mother or father’s heart.”
“I can’t sponsor everybody. A sponsor is accountable to sit down with a newcomer once a week and take them through the Big Book. I want to sponsor everybody, but I am a full-time dad. What I can do is send people recovery-based motivation every morning. If someone wants to send me their gratitude list and have me as a source of accountability, we can do that too.
Know Your Limits
Mathematics is quick to point out the importance of balance in the life of a sponsor. “To me, anything over three sponsees is all ego,” he explains. “I have to maintain my own recovery, meet with my three sponsees, and take care of my family – not to mention the 50 hours a week at work and running my motivational speaking company. “
“My day starts out with me grounding myself,” he explains. “I can’t pour from an empty cup. You never know what the day is going to bring your way. It’s like working with electricity, which can be dangerous, so you want to make sure a circuit is grounded before you mess with it, so you don’t get electrocuted.”
“In this field, you can be working with someone today and they can be gone tomorrow.”
Coping with Death
When someone in his circle dies, Mathematics remains steadfast. “For some reason, it doesn’t register with me that they are gone,” he says. “The best way for me to get outside of myself is to help someone else. I will think about the person who has died, and I’ll have moments, but I am embedded in my rituals and routines.”
“I have an app called The How We Feel App. I have been doing a daily gratitude list since January 15 of 2019. I am able to draw the good from this list because gratitude changes your neurons and the way you think.”
“I just lost my cousin last week to cancer; she was 50 years old. Five weeks ago, she told me the cancer was back, and she was going to start the chemo. She started feeling bad because of the therapy and went into the hospital. On a Wednesday, she called me and said, Cuz, I need you to give me some motivation, a Jewel of the Day.” I said, ‘When a plane takes off, before it begins to fly, it has to go against the current. There are some currents going against you right now, but you are going to be able to fly and be OK.’ By Friday of that week, I got word that she had taken a turn for the worse and was asked to call her so that I could say my goodbyes over the phone.”
“Am I sad she is gone, yes, but I am glad she is not in pain anymore. Some people would be mad at their higher power, or God, or the universe”. But I said, ‘You know what? She had cancer seven years ago and beat it, so I am glad I got seven more years with her, and I am even more grateful that I had 50 years with her. So, I can either mourn and grieve over the one day she is gone, or I can celebrate and be thankful for the time she was here.”
“That’s my mentality with grief. I understand it is going to take place and there will be lots of tears, but tears are healing waters.”
Part Two of this story will be featured in the December issue of VOICES. Stay tuned to this newsletter for a recap of Mathematics' recent Ted Talk, his recovery journey, and his philosophy on service to others.