Request Help

                                                                     

Grief Conference

State Representative Advocates in Son’s Honor

Kate Donaghue talking to voters in Westborough during her campaign for state representative. (Photo courtesy of the Donaghue campaign)
Kate Donaghue talking to voters in Westborough during her campaign for state representative. (Photo courtesy of the Donaghue campaign)

State Representative Advocates in Son’s Honor

“Substance use should be treated as a chronic disease, a brain disorder, not a moral failing.” – Kate Donaghue

By Luke Schmaltz, VOICES Newsletter Editor

Kate Donaghue is a first-term legislator in the Massachusetts House of Representatives. She focuses her civic duty on advocating for people in recovery, challenging ineffective policies, and exposing the damaging effect of stigma.

Donaghue became involved in advocacy through public speaking when her son, Brian, was struggling with substance use. “I started speaking out about my son in 2017,” she says. “I testified at the State House, and State House News picked it up. That was when I became public about it. Then, Brian passed in February 2018.” 

A Voice is Heard

In a recent Democratic National Convention hearing, Donaghue explained her recommendations to the Platform Drafting Committee. “Six years ago, I lost my son, Brian Donaghue-Simpson – my only child – to an opioid overdose,” she begins. “He was one of 2,013 people who died in the epidemic in Massachusetts that year. Brian is more than a statistic, he was a son, a brother, a nephew, a compassionate and generous soul. I work in his memory.”

“Today, I am here to urge that we treat the opioid epidemic as the public health crisis it is, rather than a moral failing. Of great importance is mental health parity. Like so many others, Brian struggled with co-occurring mental health illness. He was diagnosed with depression in the sixth grade. Things would have been different for our family if effective treatment would have been available.”

Insufficient Policies

“Following my son’s first suicide attempt, I thought he would have access to intensive treatment. We learned that social workers were spending their time trying to find the next bed – spending endless hours dealing with insurance companies – trying to get coverage for the next few days, instead of counseling patients. Like many others, Brian was in and out of programs. Finding treatment was always a challenge. When someone is willing to get treatment, you have a small window of time. Many times, we lost that window because of a lack of available beds.

“Access to quality treatment, especially residential treatment, is key to long-term recovery. Last year, overdose deaths were down in Massachusetts. This was due to a focus on harm reduction strategies, including distribution of Narcan and fentanyl test strips. Nationally, we need support for overdose prevention centers – they save lives and are a gateway to treatment.”

Social Barriers

“We need to address the issue of stigma, which discourages those seeking treatment and impacts how they are treated in many aspects of their lives. A particular concern is stigma against medication for opioid-induced disorder – particularly suboxone or methadone.”

“About a month before my son died, he overdosed and was revived with Narcan. A couple weeks later, I asked him if he thought he should go on medication. He said, ‘I don’t want to trade one addiction for another.’ That is a myth. Medication is evidence-based treatment that keeps people alive. But, a few weeks later, he was gone.” 

“As a country and as a party, we need to support adequate treatment and effective pain management. If more of these resources had been available, maybe my son would not have died alone on the streets of Quincy.” 

Expressions of Pain

In a commemorative video, Donaghue explains how Brian’s happy childhood was interrupted in middle school, when he was diagnosed with depression. “He was self-medicating with alcohol and marijuana,” she says. “He got hooked on legally prescribed Oxycodone. I try not to describe Brian as an ‘addict.’ He was passionate about things like the Oxford Comma. He spent time hiking with his father. He was also a rapper, and his songs show the depths of his despair.”

‘I’m my own little planet no one can ever invade

In a parallel universe where I’ll forever be safe’   

“He wrote of the demons in his brain,” Donaghue continues. 

‘This ain’t no fairy tale 

I carry my demons with me everywhere

They define my existence’”

Donaghue attests that substance use disorder is a chronic brain disease, evidenced in Brian’s lyrics:

‘I can’t cope with these ails that are stalking my brain stem

Tis ill chases me daily and plagues me into a madness”   

Critical Questions

“Brian had two serious suicide attempts. He was in residential treatment off and on for 38 days, and that began his descent into our broken system of how we treat mental health, addiction, homelessness, and more. I am now in a better position to share my son’s stories. I think about how things could have been different. What if more effective treatment covered by health insurance was available when he was a child? What if he wasn’t thrown out of programs for drinking or smoking; showing symptoms for the disease for which he was in treatment?” 

“What if there had been more beds and better quality of treatment. What if it had been easier for physicians to prescribe Suboxone? What if a safe consumption site had been available? Maybe he wouldn’t have died alone on the street. What if a Section 35 civil commitment offered real treatment, not a Department of Corrections approach where people are treated like prisoners?”

“The day my son lost his job, he was fired. He said because of a misunderstanding. In Massachusetts, there's a law, and it's a good law, that if you lose your job, they have to pay you in full. He had previously set things up, so he didn't have access to cash. His paycheck went to direct deposit, but since they paid him on the spot, he had cash.”

“Suddenly, he's in a position where he's got cash and he's angry. He reached out to someone and said, ‘Help a fellow out just this once.’ Once is all it took, and he was gone.”

Full Disclosure

“It is important for people to talk about what their child is struggling with or has passed away from,” Donaghue explains. “It is a very personal decision. Many people don’t want to be public about having lost a child to overdose because there is a lot of stigma and shame.”

“There are benefits to speaking out, and it is easier to cope with grief when you’re open about what caused your loved one to die. Plus, you can make a difference in advocacy by putting a face to the problem. As a legislator, I can add my input to important issues such as support for people in early recovery.”

“Looking at that day when Brian lost his life it is clear that when we treat our entry-level employees like replaceable parts, these things happen. I've helped try to get funding for a program that supports people in employment in early recovery.”

“The program's called Recovery Works, and I've been able to be helpful to them in their efforts to get funding. I also serve on the Mental Health, Substance Use, and Recovery Committee. One of my colleagues filed legislation to provide more education around recognizing an overdose. And I wonder if there had been more support and encouragement for people reporting overdoses, for people carrying Narcan, Brian’s situation could have been different.”

Stoic Reflections

“In the very first days after Brian passed, in March of 2018, someone who had lost a child 30 years prior told me, ‘You can choose to be happy.’ The fact is, you're not helping anyone by making yourself miserable. And you're not being disloyal to your child by being happy.”

“My grief journey was complicated by the fact that a couple of months after Brian died, my husband was told that it was likely he had terminal cancer.” The doctors suspected metastatic bone cancer, and through June, July, and August of that year, the Donaghue’s struggled with that devastating news atop the tragedy of Brian’s death. 

“Then they told him it wasn’t what they thought, so 2019 and 2020 were fine. In 2021, my husband was re-diagnosed with terminal cancer, and I lost him later that year.”

As a candidate and now as a legislator, Donaghue goes door-to-door through her district, speaking face to face with residents about important issues. “When I was running for office in 2022, I knocked on doors for 262 days. I am probably the only person who announces to people 20, 30, or 40 times a day that I lost my only child to an overdose. People generally offer condolences, and I tell them we need to confront the opioid epidemic like the public health crisis it is, and not a moral failing. Together we can end the stigma.”