INTO LIGHT Project Puts a Human Face on Substance Use
By Luke Schmaltz, VOICES Newsletter Editor
INTO LIGHT Project is on a mission to de-stigmatize substance use so that people can more easily seek help for their disease.
Beauty from Tragedy
Through realistic, hand-drawn portraits, Theresa Clower and her team of artists expertly recreate the visual essence of people who have died from substance use. These images represent the eternal beauty of the person beyond their mere struggles. Through this work, Clower is helping grieving families publicly celebrate the lives of their loved ones rather than be forced, by stigma and shame, to grieve alone in silence.
Clower founded INTO LIGHT Project after her son, Devin, died of a fentanyl overdose. She discovered portraiture as a way to channel her grief. Imbued with emotion, Clower rendered a stunning drawing of her son just a few days after his death. Soon after, she was inspired to help others celebrate their loved ones through portraiture as the deeply adored people they were. The portraits have been exhibited in venues across the country.
Initially, Clower was doing all of the artwork for every exhibition herself. As INTO LIGHT Project grew, however, she began hiring additional artists to help her keep up with the scale of work. Occasionally, artists will be assigned via recommendation by the venue in the state where an exhibition is being held.
A Mother’s Struggle
One such bereaved person who has benefited from Clower’s work is Joanne Gillespie. Her son, Eric, died in March 2022 from an overdose. “He was beautiful, he was smart, and he was funny,” Gillespie explains. “He had varied interests in life including podcasts, collecting vinyl records, reading comic books, and outer space.”
“He also served in the Army for six years, deployed to Iraq. When he got out, he began having symptoms of PTSD – flashbacks, panic attacks, and night terrors. He also had back pain from several injuries he had received. I took him to the VA for treatment and he was prescribed opiates. That was the beginning of the downslide. He struggled for a long time, and he went to rehab but there was always a relapse.”
“The issue was that the deep anxiety, depression, and PTSD were never properly addressed. When you get to the crux, the root, of people’s depression and anxiety, you have a much better chance of bringing them to full recovery. For him, he just ran out of time. He had regular appointments, but they were too far apart. Somebody in that mental state needs more intensive care. But when you’re a mom and the person struggling is an adult, there is only so much you can push for.”
Reaching Out
“After he passed, I began looking for a grief group right away, because I was so lost. In November, the grief group I had joined was somehow connected to INTO LIGHT Project in Delaware. So, I applied, and my son was chosen. When I first saw the virtual exhibits that had been done in other states, those portraits really spoke to me. They really grabbed me. I thought they were so beautiful and what really hooked me was the respect and the dignity I felt in how the people were portrayed. That’s what drew me to this project. Anyone with a loved one who struggles with substance use, knows that people who use are not treated with dignity and respect. There is so much stigma.”
“As I interacted with Theresa on the artwork, I realized she was an amazing person and I wanted to get to know her better, to know the project better, and I wanted to get more involved.”
Currently, Gillespie serves as an ambassador for INTO LIGHT Project. “We reach out into a particular state where we are trying to put on an exhibition. We make inroads into finding a venue where we can hold the exhibit. Once that is done, we reach out to grief groups and organizations that have contact with the SUD (substance use disorder) community, so that grieving people can put their loved ones into the application process for the exhibit in that particular state.”
Gillespie is currently working on the Massachusetts exhibition of INTO LIGHT Project, which will open in August 2024. “We are accepting applications until the end of February,” she says.
Finding Purpose
“I volunteer in our home state, New Hampshire, and in Massachusetts because it is very close. I will also volunteer recruiting families in Alabama. I also have another role as a project manager for something called Continuing the Conversation. It is ‘year two’ of an exhibition. Once an exhibition has closed, we will look for entities within that state that would like to purchase the rights to the exhibition. We give them a full complement of portraits, easels, catalogs, buttons – everything they need to do another showing. Or if they want, they can travel around the state to different communities. That’s how the project has evolved, and we are hoping to continue the conversation about stigma. We want to educate people that substance use disorder is not a character flaw. It is not a moral failing. It is a brain disease.”
Volunteering for INTO LIGHT has helped Gillespie with her own grief. “It helps in several ways,” she says. “I get to talk about my son a lot, which any parent will tell you is important. It helps keep their memory alive and keep those loved ones in front of them and other people. It also helps because the more you talk about any traumatic experience, the more it can help you over time.”
Powerful Media
Gillespie attests to the power of these exhibitions, especially through the eyes of the bereaved. “We did a media blip for one of the parents whose son was in the Delaware project. She said that, after putting her son’s portrait in the exhibit, she felt braver, better able to cope, and better equipped to talk to others about her son’s death. I think a lot of people feel that way. It’s taking that step that is so taboo – to say out loud how your child died. It is a shame that not only people who are suffering from substance use go through that stigma, but their loved ones go through it because of their grief. A lot of people have said that, after the exhibit, they have felt freer to talk about the circumstances.”
“Not everybody is ready and not everybody is at that point, and that’s OK. Some people who lost their loved one years ago are just now ready and some people who lost their loved one two months ago may be ready. There’s no right or wrong way to deal with grief.”
Each person featured in the exhibition is illustrated in an 11 by 15 black and white portrait alongside a professionally written narrative of their life. Large buttons of the portrait are also made for the families and friends of the deceased. The button of Clower’s son has a caption that says, “Ask me about DEVIN.”
The Massachusetts INTO LIGHT Project exhibition will open on August 27, 2024 at Wheaton College in Norton and will run through November 8. Submissions are currently open and will close on February 29, 2024.
Bereaved families interested in submitting their loved one to be featured in the Massachusetts INTO LIGHT Project can apply via this portal.
Artists interested in working with the Massachusetts INTO LIGHT Project exhibition can email Theresa Clower at [email protected].